The Importance Of Beauty

It's been a busy month. No, scratch that, it's been a busy year. I suppose that buying your first house and having your first child within six months of each other can do that. It's been a good year too, but busyness, even normal every day busyness, is corrosive. It wears us down and the enemy is right there waiting to use it to separate us from our hearts. Despite the joy this year has brought I've felt the busyness of the year beginning to wear on me.

Fortunately God has provided the cure: beauty. I believe that's one reason He placed us in as beautiful a world as He did. He knew we'd need it and lots of it if we were going to survive the busyness of life. Beauty brings restoration if we're willing to let it. And I'm not just talking about Grand Canyon level beauty. I'm talking about the sort of beauty we see when we look out the window at the leaves changing color, the type of beauty we find in the stillness and peace of a quiet afternoon, the way a good story stirs our hearts in a way that seems impossibly true and right.

We need beauty to remind us of the larger story because busyness isn't only corrosive, it's distracting. When Peter got out of the boat to walk on water he got so busy trying to figure out how he was doing what he was doing that he forgot he lived in a story where things like walking on water are an every day occurrence. He got sucked into his own small story where all he could see were the waves and his own inadequacy to do anything about them. It wasn't until he looked again at the beauty of The Master that his heart was restored.

Beauty can't be explained, it simply is. You can't possibly explain why Pachabell's Canon is beautiful and if you could you'd probably ruin it. It just is. And that's so important because for as much as I believe that learning, building, conquering and working are all good and noble parts of life God has given to us, we need to also have times where we simply stand in awe.

Beauty reminds us of God's heart towards us. He is the great romancer who is pursuing us, fighting for us and desperately in love with us. We are the bride of Christ and we must let beauty remind us of this.

For me lately, God has been using music. These are a few of the pieces that have been speaking to my heart.



This is an awesome guitar version of Together We Will Live Forever from The Fountain. I love playing this song on piano. The acoustic guitar used here is nothing short of haunting.



From the third season soundtrack of Battlestar Galactica, but don't let that scare you off. This is a great piece of music for nerds and non nerds alike.



My favorite piece of music, Canon in D. I have a ton of different arrangments on my ipod. I can (and have) listen to this over and over again.

The Insanity Begins!

If you thought I was nuts when I put together my 8,000 piece puzzle of The School of Athens, then you're really going to think I've lost it now. This weekend I started working on a 24,000 piece puzzle. It's the largest in the world and has only been completed a hand full of times.

The finished puzzle measures in at 14 feet by 5 feet., which presents a little bit of a challenge in terms of space. Thankfully, we have a couple spare rooms still, one of which is just barely big enough.

Before I started I built a foam board backing that I'm using both to construct the puzzle on and later to mount it on. Since no one sells a 14ftX5ft piece of foam board I had to put it together using several 40X32 pieces. I built two overlapping layers to give it stability and then glued them together using spray adhesive. Moving it was a bit of a challenge but we did manage to get it out of the garage and into the downstairs spare room.

The puzzle comes in four bags of 6,000 pieces each and most people who've put this thing together have done it as four 6,000 piece puzzles. To each their own, but for me I've already done a 6,000 and 8,000 piece puzzle and if I'm going to do a 24,000 piece puzzle then I'm going to do a 24,000 piece puzzle. So I emptied all the bags into the box and shook it to mix them up before I started.

I have no idea how long this will take to finish. There's a ton of variety in the picture but 24,000 pieces is going to be tough no matter how you slice it.

Check out worldslargestpuzzle.com to see what the finished product will look like and to see other people who've finished the puzzle. I'm hoping to become the first person in Minnesota to finish after mixing all 24,000 pieces

Ellie helps to model just how big this puzzle is,
even while still in the bags!

Ellie in the puzzle box

After mixing and dumping all 24,000 pieces onto
my foam board monstrosity

Out of Isolation, Into a Fellowship of the Heart

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone."
-Genesis 2:18a

Isolation is something that can be a struggle for me. I enjoy other people and love deep conversation. But at the same time I am naturally introverted, I love to be home and am perfectly happy to spend an entire weekend by myself with some books, some movies and my piano.

None of that bothers me. It is who I am and I make no apologies for it. But at the same time, I know full well that the enemy loves to exploit those introverted parts of my heart and drive me into isolation.

I've spent much of the last year praying against isolation and that God would lead Annie and I to a good fellowship. It's been awesome seeing Him come through.

This was a bad week. Not because of the stress of a new baby. Actually, Elise hasn't been all that stressful and I'm never more relaxed than when I'm holding her. But despite how well things are going with the baby I felt very assaulted this week. To start with we had a flat tire on our van. It wasn't a huge deal but having a fussy baby in the car well I'm trying to get the spare on made the situation that much more stressful. Add in the normal stress of work and the terrifying economic news and the week was not off to a great start.

But the real assault started Wednesday. Sam, our golden retriever puppy, was outside on his tie out. Since we've been busier with the baby we've tried to have him out there more so he can have some time to explore outside on his own. Anyway, he saw me and took off in my direction at full speed. He reached the end of his rope, his neck snapped back violently and he screamed like I've never heard him scream before. My first thought was, "his neck is broken." Maybe it was an overreaction but I felt positive he was going to die. I ran to him, scooped him up and drove him to the emergency vet.

Sam was ok after a while. He irritated some nerves in his neck pretty bad but the vet seemed confident he'd make a full recovery. She gave us some pain meds and sent us home.

All day Thursday Sam was doing great. He was walking around as though nothing had happened. He wasn't too fond of his new harness collar just yet but he was adjusting. Around 5, I was doing some work in my office and I heard Sam chewing on one of his bones. I thought nothing of it and kept doing what I was doing. After about 5 minutes I got up and realized it wasn't a bone he was chewing on. He'd found his pain medication bottle and by the time I'd found him he'd eaten every pill in there. For the second time in 24 hours I thought my dog was going to die.

We called the vet and were given instructions on how to make him throw up. Thankfully it worked and he seems to be ok. But it was a very scary couple of hours.

On Friday I felt beat up and depressed. I felt terrible for leaving Sam's pills where I did and emotionally wrung out from the previous two days. Sam may be just a dog but he's also become a member of the family and it was very tough feeling that close to losing him twice. I felt depressed like I haven't in a long time.

Friday night was small group. During the day I didn't feel like going or doing anything else but sit on the couch and feel bad. But we went and it was awesome. It's a fairly new group but in the few months we've been meeting we've already grown close. Spending a few hours with our fellowship of the heart was refreshing and healing. I left feeling like a new man

Genesis 2:18, where God says, "It is not good for a man to be alone", obviously has to do with marriage but I think the application goes even deeper. Marriage is important but we also need intimate fellowship and community within the Body of Christ. Now, I'm all for going to church and I think larger meetings of the Body like that are important. But we also need a small intimate fellowship. It's impossible to be intimate with a church of 2,000 or even 200. Church is important but we need more.

When I first started praying a year ago for this sort of intimate fellowship a year ago I didn't know if it would ever happen. I'm pretty shy and am very capable of being socially awkward, saying dumb things, and being obnoxious. But God has been faithful and it's awesome. If you don't have a fellowship of the heart start praying for one and fighting for one now. It's available if we ask for it, even for the introverted and socially awkward.

Abortion and The Election

These are two of the best videos I've ever seen on abortion and the 2008 Presidential Election. The first one is on abortion specifically. The second is on the election and conservative values. Thanks to John C. Wright's blog for linking to these.

Point for point, this guy is 100% right on the money. Together these are two of the best arguments I've heard in a long time for the pro life movement and conservative values.

Reflections On Becoming a Father

One week ago today my life changed forever


I've struggled with what to write about this because I'm not sure an experience like having your first child can be put into words. So instead let me just pull a few thoughts and feelings from the jumble of emotions that's been running through me this past week.

I don't care how many ultrasounds I saw or kicks I felt, nothing could have prepared me for the first moments of seeing Elise. It was overwhelmingly wonderful, like nothing I've experienced before. After nine months, it was tough to believe it was real. It's been a great first week with her but nothing compares to those first few minutes.

Having Ellie has been a great reminder of the larger story. Last Monday was not such a hot day for news as the Dow dropped more points than in any other day in history. But even as caught snippets of the bad news later that night in our hospital room, nothing could have changed my mind that this was one of the best days of my life. What goes on in the world is important but my family is a larger and more important story. Thinking about that reminded me that even beyond my family there's a larger story still, God's story. I see introducing Ellie to that larger story as being my primary mission as a parent and it's good to have that reminder in the front of my mind during her first few days.

Ellie is a blast! I've been excited about being a dad but I didn't think it would be this much fun. It doesn't matter if she's awake or asleep, I just love being with her.

I was reminded again this week about how precious life is and how it needs to be defended. The fact that there are prominent leaders in this country (including one who could very well be our President) who, through their support of partial birth abortion, think it would have been perfectly acceptable to end Ellie's life just moments before she was born is horrifying. It makes me sick and furious just thinking about it. Thanks to our current President we don't, for now, need to worry about that particular evil act but there's still a long struggle ahead, both legally and for the hearts and minds of this country, to end abortion and defend life. Looking in my daughter's eyes I'm reminded again of just how worth it that cause is. Please, pray for the end of abortion and that we would have leaders who care about life.

Finally, I've been reminded again and again this week that if I can love Elise as much as I do, how much more does God love me? If I would do anything to protect and care for her, how much more is God desiring to protect and care for me? I'm thankful I'm Ellie's daddy but I'm even happier that she has another Daddy who loves her and cares for her even more than I do.