Transformation Through Fire

Over the past couple days, Annie and I spent some of our drive to North Carolina listening to David McCullough's 1776. The book covers the plights of George Washington and the Continental Army from the siege of Boston through the Christmas Day crossing of the Delaware. Now I know that for some of you the mere mention of history makes your eyes glaze over but bare with me for a few sentences. I promise this post will be about more than (really cool) Revolutionary War history.

What most of us don't know, and what McCullough brilliantly describes, is that George Washington was not always the brilliant commander and leader we remember him as. In fact 1776, his first full year of command, was almost a complete failure. His first major battle, the defense of Long Island, couldn't have gone worse (leading John Adams to summarize "In general, our generals were out generaled"). To make matters worse he followed up Long Island with three more miserable defeats.

Morale was very low and the patriotic fervor that had enveloped the nation following July's signing of the Declaration of Independence was gone. What had begun as whispers of his incompetence had grown into a very loud and open discussion. A good portion of the colonial population (not to mention the British) were convinced that the war was completely lost and that Washington was to blame. He was a failure and he would go down in history as the man who cost America her independence.

But then something happened. Transformation occurred. He began to learn from his mistakes, his indecisiveness started to slip away. He became more comfortable with his command and his daring crossing of the Delaware helped turn the tide of the revolution and save the young country.

None of that transformation would have occurred without the failures.

And that's so much like our lives. So often the only way God can make us grow us by knocking us flat. It's one of the central mysteries of the Christian walk: the only way up is down.

No matter how we look to the outside world, we all go through times where we feel like complete failures. We've let ourselves down, others down and God down. Nothing makes sense. We blew it bad and everything is lost.

I believe that it's at those times God can truly begin to work in us. We cannot be built up sitting in comfort on the sidelines. Washington was commander for over a year before Long Island, before his transformation truly began. It took going through the fire, both literally and politically, for him to become the man he would. It takes going through the failures and disappointments of life for God to make us who He truly would.

This is tough and I don't claim to be any expert in it. But God's grace is always waiting for us to get us through those times and help us to get out of His way so transformation can begin.

Seeing the Small Blessings

God gave me one of those great eye opening experiences today and I wanted to share it with you. This afternoon Annie and I decided to go for a bike ride. Now neither of us are huge bikers and when we got out we're looking for a peaceful and moderately easy ride. Since moving to Ramsey we'd driven by a park near our house several times that looked like it had good trails so we decided to check it out.

When we got there, we found that most of the trails were very narrow, very curvy and very hilly. There was only one that was wider and more like what we were looking for. We took that one but after about half a mile it ended forcing us to turn around. When we got back to the car I was disappointed and annoyed. What moron decided to put in a half mile trail? Why do all those other trails have to be so advanced? I wanted a good bike ride, not a dippy little one mile jaunt.

A few seconds later Annie rode up behind me. Before I could voice my feelings, she got off her bike, smiling, and started talking about how much fun she'd had being outside and spending time together. She even said she was feeling encouraged since she got up the hills ok.

As I loaded up the bikes I thought about the differences in our reactions. My expectations, demands really, for this bike ride had kept me from experiencing the simple joy Annie had. It wasn't that she was thrilled about the trail ending, we both agreed we probably won't go back to this park, but she saw past that while I was stuck in disappointment.

I wonder how often that happens to me and I don't even realize it. I'm reminded of how during His trial Jesus is sent to appear before Herod. Herod expects a magic show. He wants to see the miracles he's heard so much about. But Jesus won't have any of it. He just stands there silent, refusing to be put on display. How different it might have been for Herod if he'd been willing to lay aside his demands and expectations and simply been content to be in the presence of Jesus.

I think I make Herod's mistake far more often than I'd like to admit. I want big magic shows from God. If I go out biking I want it to be exactly how I like it. And when it doesn't happen I get ticked. Meanwhile God's hands are open wide, filled with small and wonderful blessings if only I'd be willing to set aside my agenda to receive them.

Part of the problem, it seems to me, is the pace at which we live. Just like it's hard to make out the details of the countryside when you're driving by at eighty miles per hour, it's tough to catch anything but the big blessings when you're blasting your way through life. It takes a contemplative mind to both see and receive the small blessings. As A.W. Tozer reminds us, "God has not bowed to our nervous haste nor embraced the methods of our machine age"

I should also point out that small does not mean inferior. The small and subtle blessing of time with my wife is far better than a good bike ride.

Today made me realize how much I still need transformation here. I need to quit demanding magic shows and expecting God to meet me on my terms. It's time to receive the peace He gives, practice contemplation and meet Him on His terms. Only then can I truly begin to receive His blessings, big and small.

Striving, Rest and the Beginning of Summer

For a while now I've been signed up on the intercessor's list for Ransomed Heart Ministries. About once or twice a week John Eldredge sends out an e-mail letting those of us on the list know how we can be praying for the ministry and joining in the spiritual battles surrounding what they're doing. Occasionally he'll also add in a few other thoughts on life and what God has been showing him. The letter he sent out tonight had a paragraph I wanted to share with you:

I hope you are well. And that you are making plans to get some rest and beauty this summer. Don’t let the pace of life sweep you on, and suddenly it’s August and you realize, “Gosh, we were going to take some needed time for our hearts but now it feels too late to plan anything.” Fight for joy. (You will nearly always have to fight for joy).

This is something God has been speaking to me a lot on lately. Life is so fast. Too fast really. And the temptation to strive hits us from just about every angle.

We in the church have gotten pretty good at recognizing it in the secular world. We recognize the emptiness in making materialism our highest goal. We've seen the emptiness of lives devoted to nothing but career, or self gain, or any of the other ways we try and replace God. We get the tragedy of all that and that's good. I don't want to discount that. But at the same time we've completely missed that same attitude within the church and in ourselves.

Legalism is a part of it, but I don't think that nearly begins to cover the whole picture of what's gone wrong. In fact, it's blinded us to similar problems in our own lives. We look at Christians who've given into legalism (the ones who don't dance, play cards, or even think of drinking a drop of liquor) and we thank God we've avoided the trap.

But the problem's still there and it's different in every one of us. For some it's trying to learn enough facts and theology. For others its giving enough time and money, supporting enough good causes, volunteering enough hours. For still others it's a watered down version of legalism where we just try not to sin too much. The list goes on and on.

I'm not deriding any of that stuff. Those are good things. But where's God in the middle of it? I know He's given plenty of lip service but tacking is name onto that stuff is way different than inviting Him to be a part of it. So often those things become another way to strive, to build, to try to make our lives worthwhile, to earn our salvation.

Meanwhile Jesus is outside the empty tomb waiting for us to fall into His arms.

You see, it's not that any of that stuff is bad. It's just that when we're doing it in our own strength it gets really ugly, really fast. It becomes about what we do. Our salvation becomes based on works, not on the cross.

I believe before we can do any of that stuff, before we can really learn theology, help the needy, give our money, be transformed from our sin, before any of that we need to fall into the arms of Jesus and know the transforming power of His love.

Summer is a great time to give this a try. In our culture it's traditionally a time of rest. At some point this summer most of us will be going on a trip, hanging out with friends for a barbecue, or just spending time enjoying the beautiful weather while it lasts. But like Eldredge says, it can be gone in a flash. We can miss it just as easily through our "good works" as the rest of the world does through secular striving.

I believe God has more for us. Not just in summer but all year round. Spend some time in these next few months falling into His arms and being transformed by His love. There's nothing we can do to earn what He wants to do in our lives. It's impossible and we make a mess of trying. He wants more for you. Are you willing to get out of His way?