Jesus and Beginners

Lately I've been trying to add a new dynamic to how I read scripture. While I always try to learn from the Bible and let it strengthen my faith, I also want to sometimes drop the more academic/intellectual stuff, let go of any preconceived ideas from past reading and studies, and just let God speak to me through His word. It's not that the other approach is unimportant (I believe it's extremely important), it's just that, on its own, it's inadequate.

With that approach in mind last night I read in John's Gospel the story of Jesus calling His disciples (found in John 1:35-50). What I wanted to look at was just what type of a person Jesus really is. How does he interact with people, handle their weakness, draw them onward. At this point in the story, the disciples are pretty much blank slates. They're totally clueless. And what amazes me reading this passage is just how brilliantly Jesus, who has everything figured out, handles them as beginners.

In verse 38, just after the first two disciples begin to follow Jesus, He turns to them and asks "What do you want?" He goes straight to their hearts, their desires. And it's too much for them. They dodge the question and instead ask Him where He's staying. Jesus doesn't get mad, or impatient. He answers them and lets them come with Him. To me, there's such tenderness in that. He could have judged them or insisted on an answer but He's willing to let it go and love them so that they will follow Him.

But at the same time, Jesus doesn't just let them stay stuck where they're at. I love how later on when tells Peter flat out that he will be Jesus's rock and then, a couple verses later, He blows Nathanael away by showing His power. Jesus doesn't draw the disciples on through shame or from telling them just how clueless they are. He tantalizes them. He hints to them. He draws them into His mystery and convinces them He's worth following.

I've been a Christian for most of my life and in that sense I could not be considered a "beginner". But yet I find this passage extremely relevant to me and to my walk. I believe that part of the Christian walk is being constantly called to become a beginner again. Not in the sense of going back and relearning everything we already know but in the sense of being called forward into something deeper. The beauty and mystery of an infinite God is that there are always new depths so that no matter how advanced you are, you are still constantly entering into being once again a beginner.

In my original post on this blog, I talked about how the title Further Up and Further In came from C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle. I won't repeat the whole story here but if you've read the book, or my description, you'll remember that as the characters travel through Aslan's Country each time they reach the end of the land their journey begins again, only this time the world is deeper, richer and more beautiful. Being a beginner doesn't mean starting over. It means going through the next door in Aslan's Country.

Or, to use another example, it's the same principle of going from 8th grade, where you are at the height of middle school suprememcy, to 9th grade, where you are now a lowly freshman. You're further on in life and academically, but you're also back at the bottom of the totem pole.

I used to be very discouraged when God called me again to be a beginner. I'd feel like I'd blown it and like everything I thought I'd learned was to be thrown out. But that's not how I see it anymore. Reading this passage, I don't believe that's how Jesus sees it.

This is faith as a child. This is letting God take you by the hand and lead you into a richer and more satisfying life. I believe there is safety in becomming again the beginner because I believe that Jesus will be infintely patient with the weaknesses of where we're at and infinitely loving as He draws us on.

Like so much else it all goes back to trust. We can trust Him as He leads us on. We can trust that what He wants is to give us life to the full, to transform our hearts and our lives. I believe that so long as we're unwilling to trust Him to lead us, as beginners, through that next door in Aslan's Country we won't ever experience the kind of growth and life He desires for us.

I don't say any of this to try and claim any sort of expertise. I say this all as a beginner, sharing what God is showing me as He calls me further up and further in.