Trust: Our View and God's

I came across a great quote yesterday in George MacDonald's Diary of an Old Soul. It goes, "To trust is to step forward out of the night." It's the sort of quote that's easy to nod along to and take as a nice but meaningless platitude without really thinking about it. But if we're really honest, I'd say for most of us our view of trust, or at least the way we act it out, is exactly the opposite.

I'm reminded of the story of Peter walking on the water. From his perspective, following the voice of the master, trusting Jesus, was to step out of the safety of the boat and into the storm. That's the human view of trust. From Jesus's perspective Peter was stepping out of the storm and into peace. What Peter failed to see was that trust didn't mean stepping into the darkness of the storm, it meant stepping out of the night.

That's a tough one to swallow, or at least for me it can be. It doesn't make any sense. It goes against everything we think of as rational. And even here trust is required. Are we willing to step out of the benighted state of our limited reasoning and trust that from God's perspective things do make sense even when we can't see it?

Annie and I have been (imperfectly) living this out over the last month and a half. As many of you know, I'm self employed. June saw the end of a major project I've been working on for the last year as well as a few other billing reductions. Don't get me wrong, I'm very aware of how blessed we are. I know there are so many people in tougher positions than this. Way tougher. But with a new house and a baby on the way, that kind of uncertainty can be rough. At times it's felt like the boat is crumbling away beneath us and we're heading out into the storm whether we like it or not. Trusting is tough.

But here's the neat part. God is extremely faithful. Before we bought this house we prayed long and hard about it. One of the things God told me again and again was "there will always be enough." And there is. I don't know where all the work is coming from but right now I'm busier than I've been in quite a while. New projects keep popping up at various clients. Just this morning I had a meeting where I had three new mini projects handed to me. Now my problem is how to balance it all!

We saw the same thing happen two years ago before we got married. Our biggest contract went away virtually over night. I had no idea what I was going to do from one week to the next but each week for three months I always had enough work. It was awesome to watch then and it's just as awesome now.

Living on the edge, stepping out of the night, is a neat place to be. Work is just one example of how God is teaching me about what trust really means. Trust isn't a bad thing that forces us into unpleasant situations. It's an opportunity for our Father to show how much He loves us. It's a chance to fall into His arms. I can't claim that I love the uncertainity (would that my faith might someday be so great!) but I can tell you God is faithful. He's worth trusting